The ACTS retreat was a wonderful experience of God’s love in action. As I said earlier, I went into this retreat thinking that God had nothing for me. That I had already been there and done that. But God does not disappoint. Many great things happened during the retreat. I want to write today about one particular thing.
After one of the talks, another person at my table said he had written down, “Who am I and what do I do?” My jaw almost hit the floor because I had written the exact same thing. Isn’t it great how God works? We did not come up with any answer, but I know that there is much to learn from meditating on this.
I thought about all of the things that I am; a husband, a father, a Catholic man, a co-worker, and an aspirant in the Diaconate just to name a few. I think I had lost focus on that somewhere along the way.
Sometimes, as men, we get entirely focused on a task. One of those persons, that I am, starts to dominate. A great deal of my time and thoughts revolve around my formation and it is easy to get caught up in it. Making it even harder is that people are excited about my formation and make a big deal out of it, and I start really liking all of the attention. Then I start questioning, why I am doing what I do? Is it for the praise and acceptance of man? In my heart I want to serve God but my human weakness gets in the way. Or does it? Maybe it is through my weakness that I can make the course correction and shed some of the pride that builds up. Pride is like having plaque buildup on your teeth. You need to see the dentist twice a year to remove the plaque and keep your teeth healthy.
This weekend reminded me that first and foremost, I am a beloved child of God, I am made in His image and I am made to serve Him. As long as I can remember this, and my focus remains on being a child of God then what I do will take care of itself. It will come out of the love of Christ that dwells within me.